Judith Martin

The way to get to a librarian is to imply that a profession requiring tecnologically sophisticated researching skills is solely populated by cranky old ladies whose only pleasure in life is to shhh people. Oh and a few inhibited young ladies who could find love if only they would remove their glasses. Miss Manners suggests combining the two offensive images by responding to all comments and questions solely by giving the librarian one of those sweetly vague, nearsighted looks and a regretful smile, and putting the forefinger vertically across your lips. Repeat as often as necessary.

Source: 

Judth "Miss Manners" Martin, responding in her syndicated column to a Gentle Reader whose "very nosy librarian" calls out titles and comments loudly about the books patrons are checking out, May 31, 2010.